As young as daycare age, children are asked Who is your boyfriend? or Do you have a girlfriend yet? While these words seem harmless at the time, this mentality that one must have a boyfriend or girlfriend is usually carried throughout school and rings forever in the ears of young people in high school. To not have a dating relationship with someone brings on feelings and emotions of inadequacy and inferiority. I believe we as a society have set up our young adults to feel this way as we stress the "importance" of a dating relationship because one would not want to be an "Old Maid" all your life.
I remember in high school and college feeling unattractive and unlovable because I didn't have a boyfriend very often. Or if I did date a guy, it turned out to be a disaster, to say the least. Thoughts of changing myself, both inside and out, became in the forefront of my mind. It must be me. What am I doing or not doing that I can't keep a guy? I'm not as pretty as her......Maybe if I started partying that would entice someone.......Maybe if I dressed more flirty I would be noticed.......What kind of girl does HE want? I can change for him! And so the list goes on. Does any of this sound familiar to you or was it really just me?
Well, let's put this into perspective. I have seen both men and women stay in a relationship and even marry even though they KNEW, deep down, that this was not a relationship that was meant to be. I have seen women endure emotional pain and battering because they felt this will be the only guy left for them. I have seen men that endured belittling and abuse emotionally because this woman was the only girlfriend he had had. To them, getting married and/or having children would make that person love them more. In my persoanl opinion, the lie of urgency in a relationship has led to more failed marriages and even unwanted children for the couple (which makes me sick thinking a child could be unwanted!).
Do I believe that there is "The One" for every person? Yes I do, IF that person is meant to marry. I believe some people are meant to be single, and most of them are content with that. But I also believe that God has ordained one person for each of us that are free to marry. Now before I make someone mad, let me clarify that I am not putting you down for divorcing or remarrying after divorce or death of a spouse. What I am saying is this: I believe God has the one picked out for us if we will be patient and allow Him to work in our lives and not settle for second or third best. Stepping in the way of God's plan or trying to hurry His plan along could cause us to settle for someone other than the one God has for us.
There are worse things than being single. Being in a bad relationship is a whole lot worse than being single. Being emotionally battered, put down, ridiculed, physically hurt, whatever.....these things are a whole lot worse than being single. But if you settle for less than what God has for you and you marry, then you may have to make the best of that relationship.
I know I am opening up a huge can of worms here. These words are not meant to be exact in every situation, because there are many situations out there. What I am saying is that being 19 or 29 or whatever and single is not a crime. It means you are being choosy and waiting for God's plan to unfold. When THE ONE comes along, you won't have to ask Is this the one? Girls, THE ONE will treat you with respect and put your needs above his. Guys, THE ONE will respect you as a man and will seek to support you as the head of the relationship. It is hard to explain...but you just know. There is that peace and security. It doesn't mean there will not be hard times to overcome, but it means the hard times are easier to overcome when you have God's mate beside you.
Be patient. Don't get in a hurry. Don't listen to well-meaning ney-sayers who try to push you to hurry up and get someone. Trust me.....THE ONE is so worth the wait!
I remember in high school and college feeling unattractive and unlovable because I didn't have a boyfriend very often. Or if I did date a guy, it turned out to be a disaster, to say the least. Thoughts of changing myself, both inside and out, became in the forefront of my mind. It must be me. What am I doing or not doing that I can't keep a guy? I'm not as pretty as her......Maybe if I started partying that would entice someone.......Maybe if I dressed more flirty I would be noticed.......What kind of girl does HE want? I can change for him! And so the list goes on. Does any of this sound familiar to you or was it really just me?
Well, let's put this into perspective. I have seen both men and women stay in a relationship and even marry even though they KNEW, deep down, that this was not a relationship that was meant to be. I have seen women endure emotional pain and battering because they felt this will be the only guy left for them. I have seen men that endured belittling and abuse emotionally because this woman was the only girlfriend he had had. To them, getting married and/or having children would make that person love them more. In my persoanl opinion, the lie of urgency in a relationship has led to more failed marriages and even unwanted children for the couple (which makes me sick thinking a child could be unwanted!).
Do I believe that there is "The One" for every person? Yes I do, IF that person is meant to marry. I believe some people are meant to be single, and most of them are content with that. But I also believe that God has ordained one person for each of us that are free to marry. Now before I make someone mad, let me clarify that I am not putting you down for divorcing or remarrying after divorce or death of a spouse. What I am saying is this: I believe God has the one picked out for us if we will be patient and allow Him to work in our lives and not settle for second or third best. Stepping in the way of God's plan or trying to hurry His plan along could cause us to settle for someone other than the one God has for us.
There are worse things than being single. Being in a bad relationship is a whole lot worse than being single. Being emotionally battered, put down, ridiculed, physically hurt, whatever.....these things are a whole lot worse than being single. But if you settle for less than what God has for you and you marry, then you may have to make the best of that relationship.
I know I am opening up a huge can of worms here. These words are not meant to be exact in every situation, because there are many situations out there. What I am saying is that being 19 or 29 or whatever and single is not a crime. It means you are being choosy and waiting for God's plan to unfold. When THE ONE comes along, you won't have to ask Is this the one? Girls, THE ONE will treat you with respect and put your needs above his. Guys, THE ONE will respect you as a man and will seek to support you as the head of the relationship. It is hard to explain...but you just know. There is that peace and security. It doesn't mean there will not be hard times to overcome, but it means the hard times are easier to overcome when you have God's mate beside you.
Be patient. Don't get in a hurry. Don't listen to well-meaning ney-sayers who try to push you to hurry up and get someone. Trust me.....THE ONE is so worth the wait!
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